My Journey from living as an Ex-Gay, finding myself in a Crisis of Faith, and eventually finding my way to a place of Self-Acceptance.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Independence Day
Wow. It’s difficult
to believe that a little over a week has passed since the Supreme Court’s
decision on Obergefell vs. Hodges. I
still have to stop and remind myself that it really happened. Then, after I let it sink in that marriage is
really legal for all loving and committed couples across the United States, I
remind myself that this far from puts an end to the struggles of the LGBTQ
community. Then, I remind myself that we
are still battling our racial prejudices and gender inequalities. We celebrate this day, and I believe it is a
day worth celebrating, as if it symbolizes the freedom of all citizens of the
United States from all inequalities and tyrannies in our lives. As much as I wish that were true, it simply
is not. Still, a major victory has been
won. As a nation we have taken a bold
step forward, and I was glad to have been able to be a very small voice in the
struggle to make it happen.
Love Wins Cookie |
Columbus Doo Dah Parade |
As much as I wish we truly could all sit back now and live as if the battle is won, I know that we cannot. As long as people are being shot in churches because of the color of their skins, as long as people can be fired from their jobs because of who they love or because their gender doesn’t align with who people think they should be, as long as there is clear disparity between the compensation that a woman receives as compared to a man in the same role, there is work to be done. Tonight, we set of fireworks and the celebrate what we have accomplished, and we have come far from where we began as a nation, but, tomorrow, it back to work, back to striving to become the nation that I know we can be, the nation that we should be, a nation where we are not ignorant of our differences, but where we embrace them and appreciate each other because of them.
~Culbs
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Pride Fatigue
In 2011, I marched in my first Pride parade with my church,
Broad Street United Methodist. I boldly
marched at the front of the group carrying a banner and waiving to the crowds,
not caring who saw me because I was finally comfortable with who I was, and I
didn’t care who saw me. My primary focus
was making sure that banner was visible to anyone and everyone who needed to
see it, hoping that, if there was someone else out there in the same place that
I was the year before, they would know that there was a safe place for them.
Me carrying banner for Broad Street UMC in 2011 |
2011 was also the year that I connected with Equality Ohio,
and I was bitten by the activism bug in a whole other arena. I was engaged and ready to make my state, my
church, and, if possible, the world a more open and accepting place for all
people. Pride changes for you at this
point though. It’s still fun. It’s still rewarding, but it also becomes
work, exhausting work. When I see and
connect with people around the state, it is all so worth it though.
In 2012, Equality Ohio announced that they would be
launching the Equality Express, an RV tour throughout the state with a group of
interns and a couple of staff to try to make connections with people all over
the state. Their first stop after
leaving Columbus…my hometown of Zanesville, a small conservative town in
southeastern Ohio. There were maybe 30
to 40 people in attendance, a couple of ladies came from the Muskingum County
Health Department and offered free HIV testing.
I shared that night about my journey and my first experience getting
tested. I wanted to have an event that would welcome, the crew of the Equality
Express into town and also make people aware of
the work that needed to be done to move Ohio forward. I also wanted to create a space where people
could meet local HIV testers in an environment where they could feel at ease
and understand that they would not be judged based on who they were or who they
were involved with sexually.
Also, in 2012, I attended my first Pride festival in
Dayton. Dayton is a small city on the
western side of Ohio that feels about the same size as Zanesville, and it made
me feel like I was looking at what a Zanesville Pride festival would look like. It made me smile, and it gave me hope for
where things could go in the future.
In 2013 and 2014, I made it a goal to attend Dayton,
Columbus, and Cincinnati Prides, marching with my church when I was in Columbus
and with Equality Ohio when I was in Dayton and Cincinnati. For me, Pride has always been less about
partying and more about messaging, the getting the word out about whatever
organization and/or cause I am representing in that moment
This year, in 2015, I attended Dayton Pride and marched with
AIDS Resource Center (A.R.C.) Ohio to help promote PrEP, an HIV prevention pill
that I recently began taking. I was
honored this year to also be able to go with A.R.C. Ohio to the first ever
Pride festival in Springfield, Ohio. It
was exciting to see a new festival born in another small Ohio town. It’s real evidence that things are moving
forward. Then, of course, I marched in a
very wet Columbus Pride parade and, sadly, the festival in Goodale Park ended
up having to be canceled only a couple of hours into the event. Towards the end of June, I traveled down to
Cincinnati for their Pride and stayed over to attend my former pastor’s church,
Clifton United Methodist. Then, I
enjoyed an afternoon and evening at King’s Island on my way back to Columbus.
Clifton UMC |
King's Island |
The very next day, a local group in Zanesville was formed,
and they are already planning to have an organizational meeting to begin doing
this work. I am so excited to see where
things go from here. For now though, I
am most thankful to be getting a chance to take a bit of a breather. So looking forward to this weekend. With marriage equality being the law of the
land, I think Independence Day is going to feel an little extra special this
year!
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