In February
of this year, I became aware of a transgender person here in my home state of
Ohio whose parents had forced (or at least heavily pressured) them into
submitting to conversion therapy. The therapy was conducted over the phone,
their parents were charged thousands, and surprise, surprise the therapy effort
was fraudulently ineffective and altering this individual’s gender identity to
be in alignment with what their parents thought it should be. It turns out that
the licensed clinician engaging in the “therapy” effort was licensed in and
calling from a different state. He was not licensed in Ohio. That fact alone
made what he was doing unethical. Upon learning this, I connected
the individual with someone who could help them file a complaint with the
American Psychological Association. I don’t believe they ever followed through
with it though, probably because it could potentially mean revisiting a
traumatic experience in their life. As much as I would like to see the
perpetrator of this ineffective and harmful practice punished and prevented
from doing further harm, I can only respect the individual’s decision to do
what is best for them and to protect themselves in whatever way they ultimately
determined was best for them.
For me, the
experience should have ended there, but I felt the need to keep investigating.
I quickly learned that the psychologist involved in this situation is involved
in a larger network of providers who specialize in conversion therapy under the
umbrella name of Hope for Wholeness. I wondered if they had any licensed
professionals operating under this network here in Ohio. A quick check revealed
that there were a couple of counselors willing to counsel by phone or Skype.
Depending on the requirements of your particular state, the person that is the
licensed clinician may be breaking ethics rules, regulatory guidelines, or the
law if they engage in counseling with you while being physically located in
another state. There were also a handful of “lay” counselors.
The part that jumped out at me
though was seeing the name of the very ministry that I had attended in Columbus
years ago in order to be able observe the work that they were doing in hopes of
being able to duplicate it in my hometown of Zanesville. I had assumed that,
when Exodus International shut their doors a few years ago, they had stopped
operating. I’m not sure why I thought that would happen. Maybe that’s what I
wanted to happen and so I just blocked out any other possibilities. On the Hope
for Wholeness website, the only address listed for the ministry was a post
office box. I remembered that from before. When I first inquired about the
ministry, they had to verify that they could trust me. It took a number of
e-mails before they would give me an address, and then I had to come to the
church for a one-on-one meeting with the group leader before they would let me
come to an actual group. It’s all very secretive.
I wasn’t conscious initially that
this is what I was doing, but I realize now looking back that, becoming aware
that they were still operating, reconnected me to some of the anxiety that I
had experienced in my final days of coming to that church and in the months
that followed. I started on my own journey to explore and confront that
anxiety. I started my going through old e-mails to find the address of the
church. Then, weeks later, I pulled the address up on Google Maps and just
looked at it. Finally, just a few days ago, I took a friend with me and went
back to that church so that I could be in that place and feel the weight of
being there. I wanted to have someone with me because I wasn’t sure how I would
react in that moment. I decided to record a video while I was there to document
the experience and to, in some small way, give voice to the feeling of strength
that can come from confronting those things which make us anxious.
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